I have asked quite a few people this question: "Is it easy for you to make friends?"
The unanimous answer I got is no. These people span from professionals who just left grad school, to seasoned employees who have spent multiple years at work, moms balancing kids and a career, and musicians who are exposed to a lot of people compared to the tech industry. Surprisingly, they all answered that it's not easy for them to make friends nowadays.
I felt this too. Of course, there are a lot of reasons, like work being so busy these days. It just seems friendship doesn't happen effortlessly anymore compared to when we were in school or university.
Seeing this, I realized I actually need to learn how to make friends from scratch. I started deliberately practicing how to connect with friends, and here are a few things I do:
Practice being vulnerable: reach out to friends when I feel sad and need support.
Reconnect with old friends: I reach out to friends I haven't spoken to or connected with in a long time.
Reach out to people who I feel connected with, with courage.
The result has been promising. I experience more support and love from my friendships, feel nourished by these relationships, and less alone.
So, I would like to say to you: yes, I know it's not easy to make friends. Meanwhile, let's practice this together. Reach out to a friend.
It is completely okay if you are afraid of potential rejection.
It is okay to worry about whether that person wants to talk to you, or if it is appropriate to reach out.
It is okay if you wonder whether you are good enough, or if they might not like you.
It is okay for your brain to say it won't make a difference.
….
All those doubts are normal; they happen to me, and they happen to many others.
Most importantly, imagine that there is one other person out there waiting for you to reach out. They might be just as afraid and hesitant as you are. And they might be waiting for a long time for their friend.
That person is waiting out there for you to reach out: to support you, to be supported by you, to have coffee or lunch with you, to read a book with you, to take a walk with you, and to love and be loved by you.
(This photo showed up in Google Photos when I searched for "love," and it happened to be taken during a hike I had with some old friends. Magical synchronicity :D)